The Story of Finals, Persecution and Mario

Once upon a time, last SATURDAY was my Biology final. *Sidenote* Saturday finals should be illegal; why the hell would somebody make us take a test on a Saturday when we haven't had school on Saturdays ever?!? Heck, they don't have finals on Sundays, so why Saturday? Anyways, I showed up early, but as 8 am approached (hooray for getting up early) *Other Sidenote: 8 am finals should be illegal too* the doors to the lecture hall remained locked. Weird right? I guess even janitors think 8 am Saturday finals are silly.

So all the students, the TA's, and even my Professor, Kosher Power Plant Lady, crowded around wondering why no one was coming to unlock the doors. I cracked a few jokes with fellow classmates as we waited, until a female TA spoke up. She said (and I quote), "Does anybody here know how to pick a lock?... I'm serious." I thought that was funny enough, but some shady looking kid with black hair and a scruffy beard half-raised his hand and replied hesitantly, "I kinda do... What kind of lock is it?" Oh my god. It seriously made my day. But wait, there's more.

As the master lock-smith kid shuffled to the front of the crowd (Not really a master because he failed to get it open. Granted, he was using a paper clip), the female TA said, "Don't worry, you won't get persecuted." She said persecuted, not prosecuted- it's a big difference. According to her lacking grammar skills, she was afraid we would rise up against that kid and burn him at the stake or something for unlocking the lecture hall so we could take our final. I guess it's a good thing biology doesn't really require english...

So like I said, the shady kid failed at unlocking the room. I say 'shady' because since when is being able to pick a lock a respectable skill? I'm pretty sure you can't really develop that skill with positive intentions. Well, we waited for about 20 minutes for a maintenance guy to show up, and I gotta say, this guy looked like the real-life Mario with a shaved mustache. He had the entire get up- overalls, red shirt, a hat and a scruffy plumber-like appearance. Priceless. He was our savior; he granted us permission to go inside and take a final. Thanks, Mario.