It's A Bird!

Today, while sitting calmly at my kitchen table, I noticed a large sort of bird waddle nearby from the corner of my eye. Obviously he was outside. At first I thought it was a large crow, so I went to the sliding door window to investigate. It was a giant mutant duck! No joke. This beast had a few red bumps on its beak, talons, dark green body feathers and a black and white spotted neck. It saw me in the window, and actually waddled up to say hi. When it got onto our "porch" it pooped a giant poop that looked like it came from a dog. Awesome, right? After a few minutes of capitalizing on such a grand kodak moment, it bumbled away towards the street, staring at every car and passerby. Rock on, mutant duck. Rock on.